How to Sew When You're Sad
Advice from my new zine
Below is a sneak peek from my sewing zine for July: How to Sew When You’re Sad.
I thought that being off my antidepressants would be a cake walk. Moving to a new city, I found out after I started my job that my insurance coverage did not start for another month. No big deal. Then, after that month I tried to schedule my first appointment and was informed that the first available slot was not for another two months. I started to feel overwhelmed. The further I got from the last dose of medications that I took, the deeper I sunk into a familiar cycle of self-hatred and creative block. Similar issues that had consumed me 4 years prior started to seep into my brain again. Feelings of despair and downward trajectory. I felt hopeless and scared. But, I could remember what it was like to feel good. I remembered what my medication did for me, but I could not access those feelings. Soon enough I started to forget that healthy version of myself as well.
During this time, I struggled with being creative. I would stop myself before I even started with negative self talk. I would tell myself that I was not creative enough to begin. The days that I actually spent time sewing and creating were my best days because I was doing what I loved. Now, I still had the negative self-talk but despite this inner monologue I chose to spend time sewing anyway and because of this decision I got to experience the benefits of my creative practice. I think that creating, in general, provides time to be mindful of your life and experiences, which is needed to combat depressive episodes. My take away from this time is to just begin, even when I do not want to. I create even when I am tired and angry and hopeless because I know that I will feel those thoughts less deeply. I know because it has happened before.Â
Get your copy of the zine here:
